No one knows.

I dont know what it feels like to loose a spouse.

 I dont know what it feels like to loose a father.

I dont know what it feels like to loose a living child.

and no one knows what it feels like to be me.

No one knows what it is like to wake up every morning knowing it could have been me 

and no one knows what it feels like knowing it wasn't.

No one knows the devastating sorrow or the heart wrenching pain that I feel

No one knows the debilitating fear

No one knows the yearning and the missing 

No one know what it feels like to be me,

 except my savior.

He knows